Fear stems from some lack of trust, whether it be trusting others, ourselves, or God. My form of fear tends to manifest in a freak out kind of way. I get freaked out when I'm put in charge of managing a work site and making decisions for such a site on my own. I freak out when I'm responsible for managing some kind of spiritually guided environment, in which the services I offer or the niche I am to fill is nebulous. I freak out when I realize how far I am from most all of my family and friends. I freak out when I have to try to break up shouting matches and sometimes physical fights when kids don't like how someone else plays soccer. And I kinda freak out when 25 people unexpectedly show up to an aerobics class I'm teaching, when most of my aerobic experience has taken place in front of a computer screen playing a dvd guided session for me to follow in the privacy of my own room. I think it's safe to say that I kinda freak out a lot (this is nothing new to those who have lived and shared things with me ; ).
Why all the freaking out? This is my question to myself. This freaking out or form of fear shows some level that I've not fully entrusted to God. When has He been unfaithful to me? When has He ever let me down? Surely not when He provided an AMAZING blessing of a house and a way of moving into it within a period of 48 hours. Not when our car's brakes went out when we were coming down a mountain and there were any number of ways that we could have barreled off some cliff. Not in all the ways that He's protected me that I'm not even aware of. And definitely not in all the undeserved blessings that I SO EASILY take for granted. He is faithful.
It may be good to have those moments of freaking out---but just for a moment. Just enough to remind you (me) that it's God who's doing it, not me. Then, move forward, step up to the plate, dive in, let loose, charge!
Trusting that He'll guide me through it.
"For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline." -2 Timothy 1:7
The Pharisee and the Tax Collector
8 years ago
